Practical Marriage And Relationship Truths
Wednesday, 8 May 2019
These are notes on the sermon, Practical Marriage And Relationship Truths, preached by Pastor Joseph Prince on Wednesday, 8 May 2019, at The Star Performing Arts Centre, Singapore. We hope these sermon notes will be an encouragement to you!
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Pastor Prince gives an encouragement to those with broken hearts.
The God who numbers the stars and puts them in place is the same God who humbles Himself to count the number of hairs on your head.
He knows what you’re going through; He knows about that loss, that hurt, that betrayal and He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (see Ps. 147:3).
God loves you enough to sometimes even delay the answer you think you need because He wants to deal with something even deeper that will save you in the future.
If you’re in a season of delay, don’t lose hope! God is about to unveil Himself in a greater way to you.
When Jesus delayed going to Lazarus’ house, it wasn’t because He didn’t care about him. In fact, the Word says that He delayed because He loved the three siblings. (see John 11:5–6).
At the end of it, they experienced Jesus as the resurrection and the life
God is able to use the disappointment you’re experiencing as His appointment. He is able to bring you to the place where He wants you to be, to the place where He knows you’ll truly be fulfilled and satisfied.
God loves you and because He loves you, all His plans for you are good.
Marriage is God’s idea, it is not man’s idea.
Man’s idea is to live together, to co-habitat and discover if the person is right for you. But that isn’t God’s way. God’s way is always looking to Him to direct you and when you’re dating, there’s a place for faith. You may not be 100% sure that the one you’re dating right now is the one you will marry but God is able to direct your steps.
When you live together, you’re relying on your own strength and “foresight” to know if the relationship will work.
“And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist.”
—Colossians 1:17 NKJV
All things are held together by Him!
When Christ comes into your life, you are held together.
When Christ is in your mind, your mind is held together.
When Christ comes into your relationship, your relationship is held together.
Don’t put anything in the center except Jesus. Once the center is right, everything will be held together.
Pastor Prince shares that this message is built upon last Sunday’s message. Last week, Pastor shared that God calls those things that are not as though they are.
In the Hebrew, God’s name is Yahweh, made up of the four Hebrew letters, yud hei vav hei. There are many other names like El-Shaddai and Elohim but the covenant name of God is Yahweh.
The revelation of the name Yahweh is only applicable to us who are living under the New Covenant. It wasn’t a name that those of the Old Covenant were familiar and intimate with.
The revelation of God is ever progressive and ever-enlarging.
Keep growing in your revelation of the Lord!
Every Hebrew letter is associated with a pictogram. Hebrew is read from right to left.
Hei vav hei yud
Yud - Hand
Hei - Grace
Vav - Nail
Hei - Grace
When you put the four letters together, it is a picture of a hand of grace nailed in grace—a picture of the finished work of Jesus Christ.
The hand of grace upon Abraham and Sarah
“As for Me, behold, My covenant is with you, and you shall be a father of many nations. No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you exceedingly fruitful; and I will make nations of you, and kings shall come from you.”
— Genesis 17:4–6
God had to put the hei (grace) into Abram to make him Abraham.
Abram = exalted father
God gave hei (grace) to Abram and he became fruitful.
Abraham = Father of many nations
“Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. And I will bless her and also give you a son by her; then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be from her.”
— Genesis 17:15–16
Sarai = sar is like a captain/prince
God took the yud (or the number 10 in the Hebrew) — the law and gave grace (hei) to Sarai and she became fruitful.
Sarah in the Hebrew is “princess.”
Without God’s grace, no marriage can succeed.
Single ladies, what should you look for in a man?
“What is desirable in a man is his kindness,
And it is better to be a poor man than a liar.”
— Proverbs 19:22 NASB
“kindness” = hesed in the Hebrew, which means grace.
Find someone who has grace—that is the “plus” factor!
There will be many moments in your relationship where you’ll need that unearned and undeserved favor from your partner. Find a man who is generous. A man who has experienced the extravagant grace of God will himself extend grace.
God doesn’t just do His duty to take care of the world, He always goes above and beyond to love us.
God could have created birds without their ability to sing, but God made birds to sing—why? He didn’t have to but He made them as such so that we would be able to enjoy the sweet melodies that the birds carry when they sing. That’s the goodness and grace of God!
Single men, what should you look for in a woman?
“Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
But a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
— Proverbs 19:14 NKJV
A prudent wife is a gift from the Lord. The Lord blesses you with a prudent wife.
“Prudent” is the word sakal in the Hebrew.
It is the same word in Joshua 1:8: “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night… For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”
“good success” = sakal, wisdom that results in good success
Look for a woman whose mouth is a well of wisdom; someone who can speak counsel and encourage you when you are discouraged.
God always puts beauty after wisdom.
In the story of Nabal and Abigail in 1 Samuel, David sent his men to kill Nabal but was intercepted by Abigail. How did she do it? Abigail spoke David’s language (see 1 Sam. 25:29) and was able to prevent the act.
“The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb.”
— 1 Samuel 25:3 NKJV
This was the verse that God gave Pastor Prince when he was considering whether or not to pursue Wendy.
God’s emphasis for a woman is always sakal, wisdom that produces success. Having that sakal wisdom makes a woman beautiful in appearance and it isn’t a beauty that is passing but it is a beauty that lasts.
God created sex. God could have ordained it to be such that Adam had to slap Eve in order to conceive but He didn’t.
The world perverts God’s original plan but the truth is that God ordained sex to be pleasurable, most fulfilling, and holy when it is found in the confines of a marital relationship.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
—Genesis 2:23–24
“one flesh” — refers to physical intimacy
Sex is not something to be celebrated outside of marriage. Pastor Prince gives the analogy of using super glue to stick two pieces of paper together and then trying to tear them apart cleanly without pieces of the other still stuck to each piece. It’s impossible.
Once you have sex, something from your partner is imparted to you. It’s more than just two bodies coming together. Whatever is of the person is imparted to you because sex was designed to be enjoyed in marriage.
Sex is holy and it’s powerful; it is meant to seal the marriage relationship.
If you’re sleeping around, something is imparted to you from the people that you have slept with.
Even if you used to live that life or are still in it, it isn’t too late. There is help and restoration in Jesus.
“And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
— Genesis 2:23–24 NKJV
Woman has the extra hei in the original Hebrew. God put extra grace in women to be more perceptive.
Why did God create woman? To point man to what is good. God created Eve to point Adam to the tree of life.
When you put yud (from “man”) and the hei (from “woman) together, you get Yah (which is the name of God).
But if you take God out of the union of man and woman, you get the Hebrew word esh (which means “fire”).
A marriage/ relationship will burn (destructive forces can come in) if the Lord is not in it.
In the original Hebrew language, there’s no Hebrew word for “husband.” The husband is still called “man” (ish). Likewise, there’s no Hebrew word for “wife.” The wife is still called “woman” (ishah).
In the Greek, the word for “husband” is anēr, which is also the same word for “man” or “male.” The Greek word for “wife” is the word gynē, which is also the same word for “woman.”
I.e. In both Hebrew and Greek, “She is my wife” would be translated to “She is my woman.”
Why is that God ordained it such that through the original languages, husband and wife are to see each other as “man” and “woman”?
God knows the psychological makeup of men.
It is easy for a husband to see an attractive woman on television and think, “Now that’s a woman.” But when he looks at his wife, he looks at her with familiarity and just sees her as “wife.” The same goes for a wife in her marriage.
The words “husband” and “wife” have become words associated with duty rather than excitement. They can cultivate familiarity that causes you to stop seeing your spouse as someone physically attractive.
It is important to see your wife as your woman and to see your husband as your man.
It is also good to realize that your spouse is a potential candidate for adultery. This actually helps you to guard your marriage from adultery. It is not wise to take your man/woman, who has sexual needs, for granted. No one is ever beyond sin and that’s why we need God’s grace.
Adultery is always destructive; sin always destroys and it will always cost you more than you want to pay.
When tempted by Potiphar’s wife, Joseph said, “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9 NKJV)
God’s power is released when a man and a woman become one in a marriage covenant.
When the groom (chatan) and the bride (kallah) come together in union, the first letter of both words make up the Hebrew word, koach or “power.”
This Hebrew word for “power” is also found in Deuteronomy 8:
“And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power (koach) to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day.”
— Deuteronomy 8:18 NKJV
“power” — koach
When the husband and wife are together as one, there is power. In order to rob you of this power, the devil will try to sow strife and cause disagreement between the husband and wife. There is power in being in agreement, especially when it comes to parenting and finances.
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
— 1 Peter 3:7 NKJV
The Word says that when you don’t honor your wife, your prayers will be hindered. There is power released when there is honor between a husband and wife, and both of them are in agreement.
“Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water.”
— Genesis 24:13 NKJV
If you want a life partner, be where the well is, where the living waters are. The house of God is where many come to draw the living waters from. Go where there is life and be plugged into community—care groups, life groups.
Pastor Prince shares the prayer that he often prayed when he was still single. It’s a prayer that shaped his ministry and marriage.
“Then he said, “O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success (qarah) this day, and show kindness (hesed) to my master Abraham.”
— Genesis 24:12 NKJV
“qarah” — This means right happenings or right moments in the Hebrew.
“I returned and saw under the sun that—
The race is not to the swift,
Nor the battle to the strong,
Nor bread to the wise,
Nor riches to men of understanding,
Nor favor to men of skill;
But time and chance happen (qarah) to them all.”
— Ecclesiastes 9:11 NKJV
How to marry your giftings and the people who need it—qarah.
No matter how smart or experienced you are, you cannot position yourself out of disaster, only qarah can do that for you and only God can give you that qarah.
“Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.”
—Genesis 24:14 NKJV
“let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac” — There’s no such thing as a “perfect choice” but God has appointed someone for you.
It is better to put your trust in God, who is able to lead you, than to put your trust in physical and fleeting signs.
Ask God for His wisdom, and trust the voice of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit lives in you, and He is able to speak to you and to lead you to be at the right place and at the right time.
There is also wisdom and safety in seeking counsel in a multitude of counselors (see Prov. 11:14). When you are unsure, seek the counsel of the leaders that have been placed above you.
Be wise in choosing who you seek counsel from.
God is the One who designed marriage and He knows exactly what it takes for a good marriage. Don’t go out into the world wanting to seek advice from any source available. Be wise in choosing who you seek counsel from.
What you see on social media is very often the “reel life”—not the real life—of others. It is unwise to compare their highlight reel with your own day-to-day life.
It’s too stressful to live a life constantly trying to impress others; it is better to live your life for the Lord, who knows and has the best plan for you. Your life is precious and God’s plan for your life is the best one.
“Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus, I pray for everyone under the sound of my voice. Father, you know the hearts that are broken, the hearts that have been hurt deeply. And Father, even the heart that has been betrayed, You know, Lord Jesus, Judas’ kiss.
Lord, I pray that you would touch that one right now in Jesus’ name. Heal and release into the person’s heart and mind a vision of hope, a positive expectancy of good in her future, in his future. Father, I thank you for those who are single, under the sound of my voice, who are here tonight, who are watching or listening to this through media and they want in on this, I’m praying for them. In Jesus’ name, they will not make a wrong decision for their life partner, Lord.
Father, You will circumvent, You will stop and even break up where it’s necessary, Lord. I pray Father, in Jesus’ name, that You will bring the right person. The prudent wife is from You. The desirable man, that man full of grace, is from You. So, send that one, Lord, at the right time and make all things beautiful in Your time.
Father, I pray in Jesus’ name for every husband and wife, every man and woman who are married that You’ll grant them a revelation to see their partners with fresh eyes. Eyes of the Holy Spirit, Lord. Eyes of desire. Eyes of passion. To look for the good and not the bad in their spouse. To look for the light and not the darkness. To thank You for what they have and not what they don’t have.
I pray, in Jesus’ name, for those who are bound by social media that they are affected by what they see. In Jesus’ name, sever, I pray, the emotional soul-ties to the worldly standards and give them grace not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds. Your vision, Your wisdom, and Your counsel is what we need, Father.
Blessed is the man and the woman who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly but meditates on the word day and night. He or she will be like a tree planted— not just growing, but planted on purpose by God— by the rivers of water that brings forth his fruit in the season. His leaf will not wither.
In Jesus’ name, bless every marriage and turn what is plain like water into intoxicating, reviving, reinvigorating wine. Let them be intoxicated in love with each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
We hope these sermon notes blessed you! If they did, we encourage you to get the sermon and allow the Lord to speak to you personally as you watch or listen to it.
© Copyright JosephPrince.com 2019
These sermon notes were taken by volunteers during the service. They are not a verbatim representation of the sermon.
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